Truth & Consequences
by goldiejefferson
Summary: Tony & Ziva try to deal with the events post Revenge and during Double Blind. I felt there was a little missing when dealing with the emotional "hangover" of Bodner's death and the investigation. In progress. Please review! First NCIS fic and not sure I got the voices right. Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The body dropped to their right and landed with a sickening thud on the stack of wooden loading pallets. McGee stared at the body while immediately Tony and Gibbs gazed upward and saw Ziva's shocked eyes above them. But she was alive. If he allowed himself to admit it, Tony hadn't actually expected as much.

The ride to Baltimore had been tense and silent. Tony had known immediately after leaving Vance's office and seeing Ziva's desk empty what she had done. Gibbs picked up his pace down the stairs and Tony heard him quietly say her name in the drawn out way that was all his own. Whether it was a curse or a prayer, Tony couldn't tell. All three grabbed their gear and were flying northwards on 295 in less than 5 minutes. The only conversation in the car involved agreement to notify Baltimore Police only after finding Ziva.

Tony glanced again from the dead eyes of Bodner to Ziva. God, Ziva, what have you done?

The three men sprang up the final length of the gangplank and over to a dazed and bloody Ziva. Siren noise swelled along with the gathering crowd. Dockworkers and ship hands were gathering around the body below while many, Tony noted, were running away from the scene.

Gibbs reached Ziva first and carefully helped her off the top rail. Her hands were slippery with blood, whose one couldn't be sure, but by the cuts on her face, arms and hands much of it was probably her own. He led her to metal ladder and she leaned against it with large unfocused eyes.

"Tony" Gibbs use of his name jolted him out of his own trance and back to the severity of the situation. "Go meet Baltimore PD and secure the scene. Homeland will be here soon and…" his eyes locked with Tony's " we need time and info."

"On it boss." It was his pat reply but it was the starting pistol he needed to move. He gave Ziva one last look and turned back down the gangplank to meet the BPD. He knew that he needed to get as much information from the scene as he could before it got turned over to Homeland and access limited. Or blocked entirely. They needed to build a case. They had to prove that she hadn't meant to kill Bodner. That her intention coming here…alone…was…what? What was her intention? God damn it Ziva…you've really done it this time. Tony couldn't help cursing as he walked quickly towards the Lieutenant stepping out of his unmarked police car.

"Anthony DiNozzo…whenever NCIS shows up in my city it's never a good thing" Ray Costa was a large bear of a man with broad shoulders and a belly to match. He met Tony with an outstretched hand that Tony took gladly. He said a quiet thanks to the BPD scheduling gods. Costa was a long-time cop with an appetite for bocce, Baltimore crab, cold beer and loyalty. He also found Tony amusing and that was probably Costa's most important characteristic tonight. Tony took his hand warmly and drew up next to his side.

"I'm glad to see you too Costa. And this time I really mean it. We have a situation with one of our own that I need your help on." They both started walking back towards Bodner and the freighter.

"Tell me more" Costa replied his eyes fixed on the body in front of him.

"Perp had been on our radar and we got intel that suggested he was shipping out to South Africa on this freighter tonight. Our agent was the closest to the scene and tried to prevent his embarking when things obviously went a little too far."

"Like right off the side of the freighter too far." Costa called over an officer and detective. "Riley, get the ME on this body ASAP. Whitecoff – I need the crew rounded up especially the captain. Based on how many scattered as we pulled in they are probably illegal so look to the usual hideouts." The men hurried off with their assignments and Costa turned back to Tony.

"Is this Agent Gibbs or Agent David's handiwork?"

Tony should have known that Costa would jump to the bottom line.

"The latter."

"Where is she? Is she alright?" Costa trailed off as Gibbs and McGee started down the gangplank with Ziva gingerly between them. Costa nodded to Gibbs and turned back again to Tony.

"What do you need? I assume Feds are going to be taking this over from me shortly?"

"Bingo. I need statements from the crew and the scene fully photographed and documented. Happy to help out with any or all of it."

"Good. Hop to it then." Tony started to move towards the scene when Costa placed his hand on his arm. " But DiNozzo, no evidence goes missing or gets messed with. You know I'll know if it does. Are we clear?" Tony nodded and then started up the gangplank.

It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ziva stared straight ahead in the front seat of Gibbs car waiting for the emotions to come. She had been in fights before. Killed more times than she could remember. After the initial adrenaline wore off a mix of emotions came next. Doubt. Anger. Sadness. Relief. Not all at once and not in that order but over time she usually felt them all profoundly. In a way they had become as familiar to her as the smooth handle of her Glock. She had become proficient at greeting them as they arrived. Letting them in to run their usual course and then watching detached as they left.

But this time it was different. The emotions weren't there. She knew the adrenaline rush had passed. Her pulse had returned to normal. Her wounds had begun to ache and burn. And she began to feel the harbor wind blowing hard, causing her to tightly clench her jaw to keep it still.

McGee's jacket was draped over her shoulders as Gibbs maneuvered the car out of the Harbor area. She had watched from a distance as Tony stood talking to a large man, most likely Baltimore PD. As much as she wished he were in the car with her, she knew it was better for him to stay behind. The logical part of her brain understood he had to work the scene and gather evidence. But the emotional part admitted she couldn't face him right now. Tony didn't understand this side of her. Revenge and hatred really weren't a part of his make-up, something simultaneously attractive and annoying about him.

Ziva startled awake as she felt the car stop and the engine turn off. She hadn't expected to fall asleep but they were in the motor pool underneath NCIS and McGee was already out of the car making his way to the elevator. Gibbs stayed quiet in the front seat waiting.

"I'm sorry Gibbs" Ziva whispered. "I really did not want him dead. I mean…I did….but I did not want it to happen this way. Really." She turned to look for some understanding in Gibbs' face.

"I know Ziva. I know…but it did. And now we have some cleaning up to do."

She nodded looking down at her hands. Gibbs gently took one of them and squeezed it slightly before dropping it and getting out of the car. Following his lead, Ziva undid her belt and slid out, but not without a fair amount of wincing and pain. Her muscles had stiffened significantly during the drive and, as always, Gibbs anticipated her need for help and was at her side.

She had expected to go to directly to the interrogation room but instead he took her to autopsy and Ducky.

"Ah, Ziva. Let me take a look at you." Ducky's warm words washed over her and she felt her shoulders relax. Ducky led her to a chair by his desk and an open medical kit. He had obviously been expecting her arrival. Antiseptic, gauze, bandages and ointments were laid out on his desk in perfect Ducky fashion.

As Ducky ministered her wounds she just listened to his quiet one-way conversation. She always thought he softened his tone when he spoke to her, unlike many others who did the opposite thinking steely words and threats were the way to break through her armor.

"I'd like to say you are as good as new my dear but we both know that is not the case." Ducky's eyes were kind behind his glasses. She knew they were probing hers but she also knew they wouldn't find anything there.

Gibbs directed her gently back upstairs. She glanced sideways as they passed her desk. McGee was busy at his computer but Tony's desk remained empty. She knew that he would be in Baltimore for quite some time but she felt something pull just the same.

Director Vance rose upon them entering and walked over to meet them.

"Is it over?" he asked. Ziva met the eyes of the man who had lost so much more than she had and who looked eagerly for her response.

"Yes, it's over." Ziva didn't know whether the original question referred to the hunt for Bodner, her eagerness for revenge or something else, something bigger and more philosophical. Her career? Her American life? Her Israeli history? Her relationship, however it may be classified, with Tony?

Even her fatigue and shock couldn't hide the fact that something else had ended.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tony's backpack felt heavier than usual as he dropped it with a thud next to his desk. He could feel his pulse throbbing in his left temple and he wiped a hand over his face to try to erase the stubble that sprouted up overnight. And it had been overnight. Costa was true to his word and Tony was able to assist in gathering what was needed at the dock. He had dropped off the memory stick with the photos of the gruesome scene in Abby's lab. He hoped to find her all Caf-Powed up but instead he silently wrote her a note carefully stepping over her sleeping form cuddled up with Bert the Farting Hippo.

At least someone was getting some rest.

Tony sat down at his desk and by habit stared over at Ziva's empty spot. He had texted McGee about 4:30 am and told him he was on his way back but McGee hadn't responded. The bullpen was eerily silent at this hour.

"You shouldn't be here DiNozzo". Gibbs came up behind him and shook Tony from his thoughts. Gibbs rounded the corner and headed for his desk at his usual clip.

"I left what we got from the scene with Abby. Homeland got there about 3 and chased most of Costa's people off site. I think we got what we needed before that though." Tony watched Gibbs as he grabbed something out of his drawer and a file off his desk. "Where is she?"

Gibbs raised his eyes towards the Directors office. "Fell asleep on the couch about an hour ago."

"What's next?" Tony knew there would be an investigation but didn't know how quickly would get moving.

"DoD's sending someone over later this morning"

"That fast? Boss, is she ready for that? Are we? Do we need…" Tony would have kept asking questions but a raised eyebrow from Gibbs silenced him.

"She gave her statement. Vance heard it and thinks there are some weak spots but overall it rings true. She'll have to be ready. And so will we. Go home Tony. Get some rest. I need you back here in about 4 hours. "

"Boss…I…" Tony started but Gibbs interrupted him.

"Home. Now."

Tony knew that was an order and the throbbing in his head overwhelmingly agreed. He turned to his desk and remembered something.

"I don't have a way…" He felt more than saw the keys soaring toward his head and instinctively his hand reached up and grabbed them out of the air.

"Get out of here," Gibbs walked past him and up the stairs toward Vance's office.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ziva stared at the ceiling above her wondering for a moment where she was. She heard the shuffling of paper and the industrial whirring of an air conditioning system. The lights were dim where she was but there was a soft glow to her right. She ran through her systems one by one as she had been trained during her early days in Mossad. Besides a dull ache in her left calf and her right ribs all seemed well.

She shifted on to her right side and propped herself up slowly on her forearm. She knew better than to sit up abruptly and risk the rush of blood to her head. Her hair fell into her face giving her a moment to adjust to the new position that, even when eased into, caused surprising dizziness.

She raised herself into a sitting position and found Gibbs sitting at the Director's side table. He glanced up to look at her briefly then continued to read.

"How long have I been asleep?" she asked quietly.

"About 3 hours. I was going to wake you up soon. A DoD agent will be here around nine. McGee stopped by your place and brought some clothes so you can clean up and change." Gibbs stated all of this so matter-of-factly that Ziva could almost have overlooked what he left out.

"Am I under arrest?" Ziva asked bluntly knowing that he would answer her in like fashion.

"No."

"But I am under investigation"

"Yes."

"I see." Ziva began to stand up and tried to stretch her arms over her head. Gibbs words surprised her.

"What do you feel?" She locked eyes with him and dropped her arms, stretch half fulfilled.

"Nothing. I feel nothing. I thought I would feel something. Relief, anger, sorrow. Maybe even at peace." She looked down at her hands as the last words left her lips. It was hard for her to think her hands that had elicited so much violence could ever feel peace. "But I feel nothing." She repeated again, looking up at Gibbs.

"You will. Feel. It will take time. And you may not like what you feel. But you will." Gibbs took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Ziva wondered when he had last slept. "Ziva, revenge is jet fuel. It runs hot and takes you far and fast. But eventually it runs out and then it's up to you to decide what will fuel you next."

"And will I have that choice?"

"I like to think so."

"And what did you choose?"

Gibbs smiled tiredly. "Have you seen my basement?" he chuckled and Ziva found herself smiling slightly as well. As always, Gibbs understood her. He didn't judge her for her actions but forgave her transgressions and gave her guidance. Like a father should.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was hard to not feel déjà vu walking out of the elevator. Ziva's desk stood empty, as did Gibbs. Tony dropped the car keys on his boss's desk and turned to face McGee typing away at his computer.

"Have you seen her?" He wasn't in the mood for morning pleasantries or bantering. He had slept in his clothes and awoken to the trilling of his iphone alarm tucked under his pillow. Even a shower and coffee did little to improve his mood. As the hot water ran over his face he tried to figure out the source of his anger. Because on the way to his apartment in the early dawn he had identified his primary emotion as anger. Not worry. Or concern.

He was angry with Eli David for blindly doing whatever it took to protect and promote his country at the expense of his family.

He was angry with Bodner, for being a self-serving asshole and ironically disloyal to family and country.

But most of all he was angry with Ziva. As the water ran cold he had to admit that she was the one who disappointed him the most. He thought that when she became an American citizen, when she stood and took that oath, that she had set aside the majority of the characteristics that made her seem so foreign to him. More than her accent or her inane ability to mix metaphors, he never understood her deep need for vengeance. She had a rage deep inside of her that had probably kept her alive in Somalia. But he mistakenly thought it had cooled with her naturalization. But Eli's death stirred it up and he was shocked that it still existed to that degree.

"She was getting cleaned up to face the DoD agent. He arrived a few minutes ago. Didn't look too intimidating so hopefully this is just a rubber stamp." McGee took another glance at Tony. " You okay Tony? What time did you finish up in Baltimore?"

"I'm fine. Did Abby have a chance to look at the evidence I left her, do you know?" Tony started walking towards his desk to sit down. His own set of paperwork would be waiting for him.

"She called here about 30 minutes ago looking for you. Said she couldn't reach you on your cell and to come down when you got in."

"Great. Thanks." Tony rose and started to head for the elevator looking at his phone. Habit had him stop just short of the elevator and reach out to press the call button.

"Tony." He looked up and saw a newly scrubbed Ziva.

"Ziva." He couldn't do this. Not now. Not when his anger was right there ready to bubble over at the first wrong word or look. "Abby may have something."

"Oh. Should I come…?" the question hung in the air for a second but the elevator doors opened and provided the answer. Tony stepped in quickly.

"I'll let Gibbs know what she's found." The doors shut with their eyes still locked.

Ziva sighed and turned to head back to Vance's office. She couldn't think of Tony now. She willed herself to file her conflicted feelings towards him deep in a drawer. It was time to face the….damn! Why could she never remember these sayings?

Ziva couldn't help but think Agent Richard Parsons made McGee look seasoned. But her guard came up the moment he requested to move the meeting to a more unbiased setting. The interrogation room was certainly a vast difference than Vance's office but Ziva actually felt more comfortable here. She settled into the chair and perched her leg up against the table. Parsons wasted no time getting to the meat of his investigation. His tone quickly turned menacing.

"According to your, _official_ report Elan Bodner lost his footing during your fight and then fell to his death."

"I tried to save him."

"Really?" Parsons voice dripped with sarcasm. "You tried to save the man who killed your father? And the bruises and contusions that the ME reported came pre-mortem…was that a unique form of _saving?_"

"He resisted arrest. But I wanted him to answer for his crimes"

"And what about your crimes?" Ziva sat up slightly at this turn in questioning. She sensed he was no longer speaking of Bodner but never expected the picture placed before her. "Adam Eschel Israeli Security Agency."

"Is it a crime to have friends?"

"That depends. Did you sleep with your friend?

"I beg your pardon! " Ziva couldn't help but be incredulous at where this was going.

"He is a foreign national! You are a federal agent! That is a threat to national security. Did you sleep with him?" Parsons staccato tone punched out each accusation.

"Have you been following me?" Ziva's mind raced back to Israel trying to remember seeing anything amiss.

"Answer the question! Did you sleep with him!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Tony was counting his breaths watching Parsons pack his paperwork and snidely saunter out of the interrogation room. He wasn't sure if he had burst into the room from his unseen perch in the observation room after Parson's final accusation as a means to protect Ziva, or himself.

"Tony…" Ziva started after Parsons turned the corner.

"Not here." Tony turned and walked out the same door Parsons just exited and turned right. He opened the door to the Observation room and stood holding it waiting for Ziva to pass through. The light shining through from the one-way mirror shrouded the room in a blue light. Tony turned and looked at Ziva.

"You have to talk to Gibbs." He was proud of the lack of emotion he kept out of his words.

"About this? Tony, Parsons is just doing a thorough investigation."

"So there isn't a threat to national security?"

"You are asking the questions now?" Tony deliberately kept his eyes on hers and knew her admission before it began. "I went to Israel to bury my father. It was a moment of weakness. I felt…alone."

"Alone. Well my Hebrew must not be as good as I thought because I distinctly remember telling you when I dropped you off at the airport that you were not alone."

"Yes you did." Ziva spoke the words haltingly.

"Well then. We must have different interpretations."

Tony turned his back on Ziva and thought he would leave it at that but he couldn't. There was too much he wanted to say.

"This is not just about Adam" Ziva's voice laid it out as a statement not a question. Tony turned back to face her.

"No. This is more. I'm not sure you really get what's going on here."

"Tony. I know I have nothing to hide. Parsons does not scare me. I know my rights."

"As a Federal Agent? Or as an Amercian? Because I'm not really seeing you act like either. When you got back from Israel I asked you what you needed, remember? You said revenge. Not justice. Revenge. May I remind you, we don't run around lynching people anymore Ziva. We hold people accountable for their crimes in courts of law. It's what makes us different from…them." Tony waved his arm abstractly.

"Who? The Israeli's? Is that what this is about Tony? An American vs. Israeli thing? "

"No. No. You know me better than that. I just thought... I hoped that you might be able to set aside personal vendettas and let us work together to bring closure. Bring justice. We could have stopped the freighter from leaving that night. We would have gotten there in time."

"You cannot know that."

"So you thought you could do what? Stop it yourself? Bring him in on your own? I'm sorry Ziva. Parsons is not the only agent who doubts that line in your report."

She looked like he had slapped her but he was being honest and the words wouldn't stop. She needed to hear them. Really hear them for once.

"This isn't just about you Ziva. Parsons is sniffing around our whole team, Vance, Gibbs, me, Abby. I'm not saying that you meant any of this to happen but I'm not sure you always think about the consequences of your actions." Tony stepped forward and took her hand. Swallowing he continued. "Your passion and commitment are so intense Ziva. People are drawn to you because of them. I…I..."

"Tony." Ziva's tone stopped him cold. "I can't…I can't talk about this. I can't go there right now." She took a deep breath and dropped her hand from his. "If you are right and my actions have put the team in jeopardy than I need to set things right before," she looked at him and her words were clear "I can set things right."

Tony hesitated but she was past him and out the door before he could nod his agreement. It was a start. Not enough, but a start.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It happened too quickly for the team to react. A team of federal DoD agents marched off the elevator and encircled the entire group like trapped animals. Ziva's pulse instinctively sped up but she felt Gibbs' hand momentarily clasp her wrist, steadying her for what was to come.

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs you've manipulated evidence, and you've obstructed justice. Do you take full responsibility for the actions of your team?" Ziva couldn't help but wonder if Parsons would be so bold if he didn't have six agents at his back.

Gibbs appeared calm and in control as he stepped forward to meet Parsons and intentionally invaded his personal space.

"What do you think."?

"Then you are under arrest for obstruction of justice in the death of Eli David and Elan Bodner. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police…" Parsons continued speaking as he placed handcuffs around Gibbs's outstretched wrists. Gibbs never lost eye contact with Parsons during his Miranda rights.

"Keep them in line Tony." Gibbs spoke clearly before walking away followed by the entourage of DoD thugs.

"Always Boss." Tony called out. But none of them moved. No one seemed to breathe as they watched Gibbs disappear inside the elevator and the doors close. The office slowly came back to life as other workers started typing on keyboards or answering ringing phones as if the arrest of one of their own was just a brief daily interruption. McGee, Ziva and Tony stood frozen in place, unsure of where to begin.

Ziva was surprised when Tony spoke.

"Ok. What do we got?" He turned and faced his co-workers as he spoke, his clenched jaw and tight eyes the only obvious sign of his anger.

"Tony? What do you mean? We don't have anything." McGee spoke confusion that Ziva shared.

"Of course we do. If the DoD has a case against Gibbs than we have to have one too. We look back at everything…. timelines, dates, conversations over the past two months or earlier. We find out what they have and then we find out how to beat it."

"Tony." Ziva spoke quietly looking right and left to make sure everyone was out of hearing. "This is about me. Gibbs is taking the fall for me like you said…I need to make this right."

"I appreciate your willingness to sacrifice yourself Agent David but I'm afraid this is bigger than all of us." No one had heard Director Vance approach. "According to one of my sources DoD has been building a case against Agent Gibbs for a while now. Eli and Bodner were just the catalyst they needed." He walked over to Gibbs desk and leaned against it. "But Tony is right. We start from the beginning and run an investigation that parallels the one DoD has done. But," his words stopped Tony just as he was moving back towards his desk. "That investigation is not going to be done by you three. Word has come down…. you are all on administrative leave until further notice."

"Director…" all three agents spoke as one in unified dissent.

Vance raised his hand as he stepped away from Gibbs' desk.

"I know it's not what you wanted to hear but that's an order. You are all going to be under investigation and I need you all out of here and out of the spotlight while this goes down. I promise you." And he looked at each one of them in turn. "Agent Gibbs is not alone and neither are any of you."

"Director." McGee drew Vance's glance back to him. "Aren't you under suspicion as well?"

"This investigation pre-dates me Agent McGee. But, that being said, my position does provide me with an extra layer of protection. One that I'm using to our full advantage. I've been told to have someone escort you out of the building but if you leave now that won't be necessary."

"Director, someone…I mean, I need to tell Abby what's happened." McGee's voice was strong in his assertion and Director Vance nodded.

"Be quick Tim. I want you all out of here in 15 minutes. You will all play by the rules on this one. We all will. For Gibbs sake. Now go." Vance walked back towards the stairs and McGee headed off towards the elevator.

Ziva was unclear what to do next when Tony brushed by her and reached for something on Gibbs' desk.

"Come on Ziva…I will drive you home."

They both picked up their gear and headed to the elevator. As the doors closed Ziva reached down and clasped Tony's hand. She could still make some things right.

**I'm thinking of leaving the story as is? Not sure whether it makes sense to go on before seeing what the writers have in mind? Thoughts? Should I make a go of it and have Tony – Ziva try to make things right?!**


End file.
